God is faithful.
He has said so Himself and proved it throughout history. He has demonstrated it in the lives of my friends and family. I have witnessed His provision over and over and over again. He has never let me down. But His stellar track record just wasn't enough for me, and my heart clung to doubt rather than the Creator of the universe. In spite of this, He proved bigger than my fears (again), and this story adds another line to His incredible resume of faithfulness.
I suppose this journey began last summer. For some "strange" reason, Alaska kept popping up in random ways. I'd never really given it much thought, but several times throughout the summer, I'd read something about it or see something on Facebook about friends serving there and would think, "Hey, I'd really like to go there someday."
Enter Freshman Move-in Day 2011. I was on campus early to help out BSU prepare for the upcoming school year and help the freshmen, well, move-in. My church was also there, and I helped them pass out invite cards. These invite cards, in fact:
Guess what jumped off the page. It's hard to explain, but I knew the Lord wanted me to pursue the Alaska trip. I was really excited, thought and prayed about it during the next few days, would check the Renewal website occasionally to see if they posted any details.
But the details never came. As the semester continued, when people would ask me what I wanted to do for spring break, I began to tell them, "Well, I really wanted to go on a mission trip to Alaska with my church, I just haven't heard anything about it yet." Christmas rolled around, and I gave the same answer to my mom when she asked.
Then Passion happened. In the midst of all the insane worship and community and growth, I received a Facebook message from my college pastor: "hey elizabeth, can you go to alaska with renewal crew spring break week, march 2-9 (now through the 10th)?" FINALLY! I told him I would love to and waited for more details.
And the details came. Cost: $1350. Oh. My excitement deflated a little and uncertainty began to creep back in. Clearly, I could not afford this from my own pocket. That meant that I would have to *gasp* rely only on the Lord to provide. I continued to pray about officially signing up, and still felt the Lord calling me to pursue this opportunity, so on Wednesday, Jan 11th, I put my name on the list, praying that the Lord would help me trust Him. I took this picture that night of the first time I journaled about going to Alaska, my journal entry that night, the Renewal invite card, and Isaiah 6:8:
I wrestled with trusting the Lord for the next several days, and I was getting really frustrated with myself. Why was my heart so bent on worry? Why on earth could I not trust the God of the universe, Whose faithfulness is written in bold letters across history and my own life? I kept praying, "Lord, I don't trust you. I know I should, and I definitely want to, but I can't. Please, please help me trust You." I wrote in my journal, "Help me to let go of [the Alaska trip]. Peel back my fingers. I know You hold it and my whole life firmly in Your hand. Enable me to trust You completely."
On Saturday, I woke up and saw a message from my mom, saying that my parents were giving me money for my trip deposit that was due in a couple of weeks. I was really excited since I wasn't expecting that they'd be able to to give that much. It was such a blessing, but, of course, I focused mainly on all the money I still had to come up with. I posted on my family group's wall on Facebook early Saturday afternoon (a family group is a small group at Passion made up of 8 people who start off as strangers and become fast friends through meeting together to study the Scriptures and praying for each other). I asked them to pray for me about Alaska, that I would stop worrying about it and trust the Lord.
Shortly after I wrote the post, I got a text from one of the people in my family group. In short, he told me that he had been setting aside money for the past few months, waiting on the Lord to tell him how to use it. He then said that when he read my post in our group wall, he knew the Lord wanted him to give the money for my trip, and asked how much I needed. I told him I still needed $1200. He said it was covered. I responded with an "Are you kidding me?" He wasn't kidding. I got his $1200 check in the mail Friday, and was able to turn in all $1350 for the trip yesterday. I didn't ask anyone for a dime.
I am still astounded by the Lord's faithfulness; I hope I always will be. Just the fact that I did not even ask Him to do anything like this, that I just asked to be able to trust Him, is so humbling. In the midst of my wrestling with my lack of faith, He chose to pour out His faithfulness on me. It's as if He was saying, "This is why you should trust Me." I'm reminded of an Adventures in Odyssey episode called "Run-of-the-Mill Miracle," in which a young boy, Grady, is struggling whether or not to believe that God can do miracles. The wise Mr. Whittaker tells him:
"God works in lots of different ways. Sometimes He does things that will knock our socks off, and sometimes He works and we don't even recognize it."
At the end of the story, as Grady witnesses a miracle in his own life, he responds in a way so reflective of my own reaction to the Lord's faithfulness:
"Mr. Whitaker? I guess He decided to knock my socks off."
Me too, Grady, me too.
So, as I prepare for this spring break trip, I ask that you'd keep me and the whole team in your prayers. Ask that the Lord would prepare the way for us, and the He'd prepare our hearts to serve him. Pray that we'd have His passion for the people of Anchorage, and that we'd boldly declare the gospel of His grace, mercy, love, and faithfulness, so undeserved.
He has said so Himself and proved it throughout history. He has demonstrated it in the lives of my friends and family. I have witnessed His provision over and over and over again. He has never let me down. But His stellar track record just wasn't enough for me, and my heart clung to doubt rather than the Creator of the universe. In spite of this, He proved bigger than my fears (again), and this story adds another line to His incredible resume of faithfulness.
I suppose this journey began last summer. For some "strange" reason, Alaska kept popping up in random ways. I'd never really given it much thought, but several times throughout the summer, I'd read something about it or see something on Facebook about friends serving there and would think, "Hey, I'd really like to go there someday."
Enter Freshman Move-in Day 2011. I was on campus early to help out BSU prepare for the upcoming school year and help the freshmen, well, move-in. My church was also there, and I helped them pass out invite cards. These invite cards, in fact:
But the details never came. As the semester continued, when people would ask me what I wanted to do for spring break, I began to tell them, "Well, I really wanted to go on a mission trip to Alaska with my church, I just haven't heard anything about it yet." Christmas rolled around, and I gave the same answer to my mom when she asked.
Then Passion happened. In the midst of all the insane worship and community and growth, I received a Facebook message from my college pastor: "hey elizabeth, can you go to alaska with renewal crew spring break week, march 2-9 (now through the 10th)?" FINALLY! I told him I would love to and waited for more details.
And the details came. Cost: $1350. Oh. My excitement deflated a little and uncertainty began to creep back in. Clearly, I could not afford this from my own pocket. That meant that I would have to *gasp* rely only on the Lord to provide. I continued to pray about officially signing up, and still felt the Lord calling me to pursue this opportunity, so on Wednesday, Jan 11th, I put my name on the list, praying that the Lord would help me trust Him. I took this picture that night of the first time I journaled about going to Alaska, my journal entry that night, the Renewal invite card, and Isaiah 6:8:
On Saturday, I woke up and saw a message from my mom, saying that my parents were giving me money for my trip deposit that was due in a couple of weeks. I was really excited since I wasn't expecting that they'd be able to to give that much. It was such a blessing, but, of course, I focused mainly on all the money I still had to come up with. I posted on my family group's wall on Facebook early Saturday afternoon (a family group is a small group at Passion made up of 8 people who start off as strangers and become fast friends through meeting together to study the Scriptures and praying for each other). I asked them to pray for me about Alaska, that I would stop worrying about it and trust the Lord.
Shortly after I wrote the post, I got a text from one of the people in my family group. In short, he told me that he had been setting aside money for the past few months, waiting on the Lord to tell him how to use it. He then said that when he read my post in our group wall, he knew the Lord wanted him to give the money for my trip, and asked how much I needed. I told him I still needed $1200. He said it was covered. I responded with an "Are you kidding me?" He wasn't kidding. I got his $1200 check in the mail Friday, and was able to turn in all $1350 for the trip yesterday. I didn't ask anyone for a dime.
I am still astounded by the Lord's faithfulness; I hope I always will be. Just the fact that I did not even ask Him to do anything like this, that I just asked to be able to trust Him, is so humbling. In the midst of my wrestling with my lack of faith, He chose to pour out His faithfulness on me. It's as if He was saying, "This is why you should trust Me." I'm reminded of an Adventures in Odyssey episode called "Run-of-the-Mill Miracle," in which a young boy, Grady, is struggling whether or not to believe that God can do miracles. The wise Mr. Whittaker tells him:
"God works in lots of different ways. Sometimes He does things that will knock our socks off, and sometimes He works and we don't even recognize it."
At the end of the story, as Grady witnesses a miracle in his own life, he responds in a way so reflective of my own reaction to the Lord's faithfulness:
"Mr. Whitaker? I guess He decided to knock my socks off."
Me too, Grady, me too.
So, as I prepare for this spring break trip, I ask that you'd keep me and the whole team in your prayers. Ask that the Lord would prepare the way for us, and the He'd prepare our hearts to serve him. Pray that we'd have His passion for the people of Anchorage, and that we'd boldly declare the gospel of His grace, mercy, love, and faithfulness, so undeserved.
